LOST .

I know I may be confused but i`m not dumb. I am very well educated woman who likes to take a stand for what she believes in. The road I been traveling has been so clean cut and it`s like I know what mistakes not to make, but I barely have any experience with certain things that fascinate me or that I like to talk about. It may not be something I should do, but I think about it. I don`t know. They way I been going ain`t doing nothing for me and I can`t find nobody to talk to who gets it, who can offer something worth listening to. Nobody knows my past and what I been into and how I kinda lived a double life in my teen years and sometimes and somehow I want to actually LIVE the way I was. I wanna feel alive and just FEEL. I hate to feel like certain people were a figment of my imagination....or not who they say they were because I naively but my trust and ultimately love into them...but I put myself into that life and lived it.

I mean, what i value is love...and bringing inspiration to others. I do that already, i inspire. I love to get the compliments and see others excel in life but what about what I need inside. Love has never been here. Only multiple facets of fake love...i can`t deal no more.

So maybe my purpose is more than my needs, maybe I can tend to the world's need and find my way that way. I dun been through too much pain as it is I don`t see nothing else that can hurt me and even if it does, i`ll be where I wanna be. Time to make some lifestyle changes and figure out what it is i`m doing and what I`m going to do with my life. I`m just tired of this pointless shit i`m doing now. It may get others places but it ain`t doing shit for me..