Wale ft Marsha - Diary .

Exactly how I feel. Makes me wanna sing the song all day.

But like Im sitting here doing my homework.
Seeing my "friends" go about there day and shit.

Idk yo I just feel so alone. I am in a very emotional state, although i barely cry.
I hint all fuckin day to people that things arent right by me but they dont see it. i hate that, THATS WHEN I CRY. like we supposed to be cool and you not seeing that im dying inside, i cant even focus on my work and shit....

i feel so slack in my life.
Like i dont like making friends bc i dunno they true intentions, i dunno if they really down for me because IM SO DIFFERENT.


like people ......UGH IDONT KNOW I JUST HATE THIS DAY AND AGE YO. what happen to the days when people really did try to discover you? Now people just leave you lonely and cuss you out when you bug out without figuring out wtf was wrong in the first place. smhhh
people dont even know the half of me.

I used to be alot of things im tryna let go. ima just stfu now though because i gotta knot in my throat and i aint tryna break down now, i gotta fuckin test tomorrow....

WOWWWWWWW.

I really cant vibe when dudes that are like fly beyond fuck and they offer the total package fall for DOOFY ASS CHICKS LMAO . like they be the most odd looking, swagga jocking, insecure bxtches of the crop !!!

And then you have all the bomb ass five star bxtches wanting your ass, but you want A DOOF ASS BXTCH ? LMAO OOOOOOOOOKAY !

yall can have some lil doofies together, maybe youll make em cute. who knows ? lmao .

fast life?

I think I know why so many good people turn to the fast life for instant gratification.

It feels good...and when you wake up and your back to reality. a lot of time has passed and you hope that love is waiting because if you take it day by day....it makes it seem like it will never be there.


yeap. so many nights of looking at the ceiling wondering....it's good to know but sometimes....your mind needs a break.

I like being pure .

Sometimes I don't mind the fact that I'm a virgin or the fact that I have never kissed anyone. Today's society sickens me so much. All you have to do is turn on the television and within 5 minutes something sexually oriented pops up on the screen. Whether it's a male enhancement commercial or two girls kissing....who are 15 years old. And I try not to be biased and think on a global scale because in some cases it's okay for 15 year olds to kiss and have children (I don't know about same genders) if their bodies can take it and if they can financially provide. If you are prepared to take on the responsibilities that come with adult activities then kudos to you.

It's so hard for me to mentally connect with anyone anymore. Yeah I can enjoy a casual conversation but at night when I go home I wonder if there is anyone out there who is like me...male or female I don't know, I just wonder. I'd love to think that sex is more than just two bodies rubbing at each other, i think it involves two spirits. But who cares about my opinion and who cares about true, real love.

The only thing people care about is what physically happens to them, what happens to their bodies. Who cares about a so called spirit? I do.

I don't care if I die a virgin or if I die never kissing anyone. I treasure me, my mind, body and my spirit. And if no one can see that in me, you can't have me no way shape or form. And i'll just be subjected to being alone.

Yeah I'll be sad sometimes because I am used to society's standards but If I don't loose sight of who I am inside i'll be okay and maybe I will find someone out there who believes as I do and we can share ideas together. That's all I really want right now.

I'm living this beautiful disaster called life .

hopeless.

every day shouldnt be a battle every day.
i fuckin wanna sleep all the time, why the fuck get up if it aint SHIT TO LOOK FORWARD TO.
BUT FAKE ASS MUTHAFUCKERS IN YOUR FACE, ALL THE TIME. SMILING TAMBOUT THEY LIKE YOU.


DF I LOOK LIKE ? APPARENTLY A FOOL TO YO ASS BECAUSE YOU MUHFUCKN TRANSPARENT BITCH.

ugh.

I shoulda never gave my love away. i shoulda been smart about my love life and just never talked to no guy. givin my love away to these muthafuckers that lie ALL THEY DO IT LIE. THAT WAS MY LIFELINE AND YOU JUST FUCKING KILLED ME. TOOK IT ALL AWAY. you knew i was good woman and you abused that you did, all of you did. YOU FUCKING HURT ME AND I HATE ALL OF YOU. I DOOOO. CAUSE I NEVER GOT TO SEE YOUR FACES. I DIDNTTT. ahhh...


look at me, im all fucked up in the head and cant even focus right and focus on me to get better. BECAUSE I HAVE NO LOVE LEFT ME. IM DEAD ON THE INSIDE, DONT KNOW HOW TO BE NO MORE. DONT KNO HOW TO ATTRACT THE RIGHT FRIENDS OR NONE OF THAT IN MY LIFE.




I TRIED TO BE STRONG FOR SO LONG BUT FUCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK THATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT.

I tell myself i wouldnt do anything to hurt myself because my family needs me my baby cousin needs me BUT LEAH NEEDS ME, I NEED TO BE OKAY WITH MYSELF, I CANT JUST EXIST FOR SOMEBODY ELSE. ID HATE TO JUST BE SO UPSET IN MY LIFE TO JUST LEAVE THEM BUT I JUST OOOO idk, this shit is fkn ridiculous. my heart cant take no more of this SHIT.


i just cant.

i dont nobody wrong all i do is try and love ppl they drain that shit outta me and dont give it back....I DONT WRITE NO MORE. IM NEVER INSPIRED. I HAVENT WROTE POETRY IN SO LONG....................................ima stfu. im just idk. going to sleep now :|

knb'i/kc;ytvluv

MY FRIENDS FUCKING SUCK. END OF STORY. IM PUTTING MY ASS INTO TO BED TO CRY AND IM NOT CALLING NO DAMN BODY BC THEYD PROLLY FUCKING HANG UP IN MY DAMN FACE!!. MOST OF THEM ARE THE MOST SELFISH, INCONSIDERATE, PIECES OF.............WORK IVE EVER MET IN MY FUCKING LIFE. WHY DO I LOVE THESE KINDA PEOPLE????????????????? WHY WHY WHY??????? ugh. my lifeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

friends and love.

so im definitely jealous when my friends get caked up ESPECIALLY when its genuine.

i want...to throw up.

Definitely going to church on Sunday, i need to be redirected.

I need a .....LIFE BOOST .

so tomorrow ima dress real cute and take pictures && post em...then go about my day. i shall make the best of my damn life ..

im lost in my own madness...

woke up at 5 pm....still just diddly daddling around in my room.
feeling shitty.
so many goals
so much room for improvement
so many NEEDS that are just unfeasable for me right now...
no support system.
no love..

im like having love withdrawals right now cause i cant think straight.
gotta test tomorrow. and still havent studied.

like i said im lost.
very....lost. Again :|

post your twitters; and follow me !!

x_dollbaby .