day 18 - Finals .

Late night studying. no sleep. falling asleep when your not SUPPOSED to at a drop of a dime. sigh, cant wait for this SHIT to be over. Planning a cruise to Haiti and Jamaica, we will see how that goes lol. peace yall.

day 17 - VOTE FOR ME !

http://www.realitywanted.com/member/id/176948

I want to be on that lil documentary thing. so please vote ! thanks.

day 16 - FAMOUS .

I wanna be famous. so I shall be. tis all.

Day 15 - Overwhelmedd .

finals is comming up. cant focus. drama. MORE drama. no incentives. no knight in shining armor to sweep me away. whatever. wheres my sweats and tee and my hoody. not feelin like tryna "stunt" everyday. if u cant take me dressed down then you cant take me dressed up. its whatever.

day 14 - Changes

I have a lot I want to talk about but I do not wanna rush it because I wanna be as in-depth as I can be. So heres to the bulleted list! lol

• My family reunion - the unity factor, how talented we are, how strong we are, how beautiful we are as a black people.
• Becoming a vegetarian..if possible.
• Feeling emotional drained and antsy about...experiencing life.
• Feeling alone.
• Apply for Made on mtv.
• There is someone like me, my baby cousin Maya Elaine <3
• Not liking my cold, barren heart.
• Every day being a battle to keep myself together.

well I have school work to do and im exhausted. still taking them skin pills that lower my immune system. kinda tired of feeling so drained. About to go to take a nap and prepare for an all nighter. My bad for the delay you guys. peace. love. and music.

Day 13 - Off to the lone star state .

Best believe there will be millions of pictures taken on the way there lol

I gotta long night ahead of me though and I know my mom does too, smh.

Which means Im gonna have to help drive, boo.

Still packin, got homework I wanna try and finish so I aint gotta worry about it over the weekend.

Gotta clean up the house and what not. charge ipods, charge the camera battery..if i can find it again lmfao.

I wasnt gonna bring my labtop with me but I might, idk.

I miss my blogs about fashion, music, and just things goin on in the music industry.

hair and all da.

Once I clear my mind I shall comment on things like that.

I did get me some cute lil hair clips for my frofro :)

peace.

day 12 - I found my camera charger !!

So better high quality videos for you guys ! The first one will probably be one of the family reunion though. Im doing this blog to help me organize my day today because im all over the place. I did my presentation with my group today, i GOT LIKE OD NERVOUS. I didnt stutter or anything i just was shakin alot and my voice got a little shaky but thats it. Sooo I need tooo...

• Finish chapter 2 and 3 on mymathlab.com
• Finish my history assignments for this week and weekend.
• Do my communications essay proposal and email him that I wont be able to make it thursday
• call alexslemonade stand about the late donation i received.
• PACK for the family reunion this weekend lol sigh.
• Go to bed early for work tomorrow.

day 11 - Summer school .

So I skipped another day, and I have a viable reason for that. lol School projects, presentations and tests and what not. and I gotta keep my gpa above a 3.0 for my hope scholarship. So thats my number one priority. I love my blog so Im trying to it some attention. So today its getting like two minutes of my time :) Well im out yaw, smh gotta handle this shit. Time to act like I aint depressed so I can present and make an a and alla dat. Wish me luck and pray for me. I need this. Peace, love, and soulmusic <3 .

day 10 - Big Booty Bxtches .

Wanna laugh ?

Day 9 - ha .

The more people judge me and say ridiculous shit it makes me laugh and want to prove them wrong even more. Like the drive in me is bigger than me as an individual. Just because you see someone timid does not mean that they are not capable of something big. Looks are deceiving. So I would advise the quick at the mouth to pause for a second and use their minds. I may be struggling now, I may be depressed, I may not be winning the little battles and yes I do cry at night like a little bitch but I am winning the war because I wake up everyyy morning. Even if my tank is on E and I drive myself. I keep running. Running on little drops of motivation. But oohhhh when my gas tank gets full you mutherfuckers better hope and pray youre DEAD . Cant say that anymore harshly.

If you were famous, what would you be famous for?

If you were famous, what would you be famous for?

Answer here

Day8 - I SKIPPED A DAY ! BEEN BUSY

Yea lol drama will do that to you, send you straight to bed !! like ahhhh !! LMAO

but yeah. I missed three classes already from my math class. I think im going to the thursday class to make up for it tomorrow. because im off so I think thatll be good for me. With all that said ima head to bed, well actually. I have to drive to the post office to send the donation money off.

I think I may just drive around to feel the breeze and then hit the bed.
Much love to everyone.
im out.

Day7- Lemonade Stand

Unfortunately we had no video camera :(

BUT !!!!!!!!!!

<3

Day 6 - July 4th :)

So today is pretty busy so I'm going to go ahead and do my post.

I just came from church helping my ma do Sunday School, i miss them lil kids.

Im seriously contemplating becoming a 7th day adventist, but I gotta do my research on it.

I love being Baptist, just gotta see what I believe in more.

My dad tryna put together the grill right now lol and I want to go see Toy Story with my friend Rj and his people. i miss himm <3

and then I may go see the fireworks at the landing. I believe today can be a good day, so ima leave it at that.

My lemonade stand fundraiser for kids with cancer is tomorrow, so im looking forward to that! I'll let you guys know how that goes tomorrow. One love.

Day5 - Hmm.

I wonder if the people I cry for cry for me.

I wonder if i'll be so beautiful, that guys really want to get to know me. Want to stay with me till I fall asleep just to see if Im really that beautiful. Staring at me in amazement.

smh.

Im so sad sometimes. Like I really do love my close friends. But why do they misuse me. Yeah im hard and dont show emotion, but once u break through that youll see. No one has seen me cry, and you wonder why..... And I hate that im not 100 percent confident. Im tired of fighting. At the end of the day, Im not this fuck everybody for fucking me over type person. I feel, I wanna give and I long to give. but its...idk.

My heart is just broken. every which way. this is WHATS real.

not that. smiling shit i try to do.

at the end of the day, THIS IS ME.

broken, not making sense, sad as all fucking outdoors, but hanging in there. what the fuck ever.

smh.

Day 4 - Deep emotions, how i been feeling .

There has been so many changes around me and within me, I still don't know to grasp them all. I'm not feeling like all my hard work is paying off. I have been such a grateful person, such a good person. Moralistically, to everyone else. For my well being. Yet my life is like this. No matter how hard I work to pursue my dreams they still seem so far away. I wanna be that one kid that perseveres although all the odds are stacked against her but I do not know if that's me. Bad things upon bad things keep happening, and I'm losing faith. I'm the only one who has it in me, except for a few others. And I love them for that. Thanks Co for believing in me and letting me know that i'm not insane for wanting to speak out and for wanting to verbalize how i am feeling. Thanks for admiring my passion, saying that it is beautiful and i am talented. You do not understand how much it means to me. I am always so scared to speak out and show people how beautiful I am, but I shouldn't be. And thanks Bre, for giving me advice and letting me no in little to no words that I am a special person, very unique. I try to be kind hearted with the little heart I have left. I cant even listen to love songs anymore and react the same way. The dream of being swept off my feet does not seem so accurate anymore. Love disgusts me and intrigues me at the same time. At the moment, it disgusts me more than ever. I try to be so strong, I try to be so nice and just so that every blessing that comes my way will be completely and utterly earned. yea, im so not feeling it anymore. People making me feel like an ass, for standing up for myself. speakin for myself. yea, right. Im not going to stop doing it. I say "ill just be alone" but God knows I dont wanna be. God knows I dont wanna be. Instead, if turned into this hardcore, wired gated up, ticking time bomb, living in the moment the wrong way, reckless, nervous, stressed-out, unsure wreck. The exact person, I DONT want to be. But it's saving my inner peace. It's keeping the Leah I am inside, away from all intruders. I feel like I have just stepped into adulthood, where everything is hard. And every treasured relationship is difficult even though it shouldnt be. If people just fessed up to their wrongs and tried to make things right. But it's too hard right, my composures all messed up. I try to smile...to captivate someones heart that I get the butterflies with...but the smile is never genuine. So how will he see the inner Leah inside? the one with the light in her eyes and the smile that never fades? I dont know things anymore, i just know how I feel. And I hate feeling like things just arent right. I just havent been right, for a while.

Day3 - So I forgot lol...

I was so busy !

Kinda out of it right now but I shall be posting today's blog later tonight.

PEACE.