feelings..my letter to God

God you know how bad I try to be positive and shine some kinda happy light on other people because the pain I feel inside I honestly wouldnt wish on my worst enemy. I dont want people to worry about me or feel pity so I try to be strong so they can see that theres no reason to give up on life but I feel so close to that God. You know every trial and tribulation i have been thru since i was born and u know my heart. You know im waiting on a genuine smile. You know my passions and things I crave for. I could care less to talk about somebody bc idc bout all that. It just hurts me so much that right now I should be soooo happpy but im not. Ive had this amazing surgery I been waiting on forever. and I am I really am, but if I keep on this path I am now, its all gonna go to waste and I dont want that to happen lord ive come SOOOO FAR. Trying to not stress and keep my skin clear and keep from emotional eating but its so not helping. No one is even trying to be there for me :( i jes wanna run home to my family and cry i really do. I never did wrong to nobody to be so sad like this. Im jes so overwhelmed right now I cant even try to write how im feelin right now. Im so broken its fkn ridiculous. sorry to who ever has to love me bc u gon have to try real hard, alot of things have lost its meaning to me. smh. thanks for listening and always being there..

A girl like me [A novel im starting to write]

My pen name is going to be Larose .

Hurriedly, I walked from the automatic sliding doors into the parking lot to meet my cherry red Toyota Corolla “Betty Boop”. My work day was finally over and the day seemed to brighten up a bit against the sunset. I threw all of my things into the backseat and lazily plopped into my seat.
“Story of my life,” I sighed.

I turned the ignition as my car rumbled to a start. Today was just one those bad days you dread when you have one of those good days you haven’t had in a while. My nerves were shook and I couldn’t think straight, numbers were running through my head and I just needed some type of serenity. This newly found confidence really is helping, but I don’t know how to deal with the extra attention. You can say that I am a bit awkward at times. The wind caressed the edges of my countenance and I try to bask in the feeling. I turned on the radio and the reggae music soothes my soul. My body moved with the beat, matching the bass perfectly. It’s not that I dread coming home every time I leave work; it’s just that I’d rather be somewhere else, if that makes any sense.
As I pulled into the driveway, my legs felt like logs as I lifted them outside of the car at an attempt to stand upright but I staggered, naturally.

sounds good so far ?

Update on my Orthognathic Surgery

So as you all know, I have had jaw surgery and it has gone EXTREMELY well. My rubberbands are off and I can chew and everything. Hard part has been not wanting to eat all the bad foods haha. I will admit that I have cheated and It has caused me to gain some weight but recently I have went back to my healthier lifestyle and Im loosing weight again :] I dont really want to post pictures (alot of them anyway) until im like somewhat happy with myself. I dont want to get full of myself and stop loosing weight you know ? I know I dont have THAT many followers but thanks for the people who kept me in their thoughts and prayers. It means alot :] Sooo no more mcdonalds are none of that bad stuff :) and if I do, itll be the healthiest thing they have ! MUAHz, later mi gente .

Since my surgery..weight loss .

Since my jaw surgery, like my body has been changin like whoa. LOL IM NOT COMPLAININ, but its like lol ABOUT TIME. I still work out n stuff, but I got like 2 weeks until my rubber bands come off and I can chew again...LORD KNOWS IM GOIN STRAIGHT TO MCDONALDS!!! lmao SHOOOOOT. But naw lemme stay on point...I lost like 20 pounds already. And I wanna loose alot more. I was on the thicker side but now I wanna be like...skinny thick..and toned u kno. Because im short and all that weight on a short girl aint cute LOL SO YEAH :D ROOT FOR ME !!!!!!!!!!! :)

Onch : Paris Hilton's My New BFF

Okay so I hate the show BUT I LOVE THIS...GUY...GIRL LOL whatever he/she wants to be called.