I want you to love me.
Reach into my soul and pull out every insecurity,
Take me just for this one night and make me feel sane.
I don't want to feel no pain.
With every kiss mend my heart, with every caress replace my scars and smear my sweet brown skin in.
I need this, my body and soul trembles for this.
Love me like no other being can, look into my soul and make me feel like we are connected.
Don't succumb to every other man's version of love, only expressing this lovely emotion through intercourse and/or words. I need verbs.
Show me, take me away pleasee.
Release all the stress and pain from the past, I wanna let it go just to be with you.
I want to love without reservation...i do.
I am so tired of waiting on you, taking chances with you, having my heart broken by you. I just want you to be real when I think I see you. I wanna stop seeing the reflection of you on these lies...I deserve to feel you, see you, hear you, smell you, and touch you. Please stop running from me, sweet love. I'm so stuck on you and my body aches for you, I just can't wait any longer....please dont keep me waiting...
and when I find you and I know it's real, my life will never be the same. Those tears that will flow down my face will represent all the pain that you have pushed out of my body from blessing me with your presence....words won't even make sense to you because no sum or amount of words will every amount to the thanks and the gratitude that I have for you blessing my life with happiness....just tears.
Kiss this tears and let them hit the ground; wipe them away as your hands, your lips, and your embrace empty my body of this lifelong pain replacing it with all this love....let's speak no words. Let the power of love nurse me back to healthh.
mmm mmm mmmm...I need to go to church....
Monday, February 28, 2011
Friday, February 25, 2011
definitely wanna blog more..
but i dont know how to quite get more followers...how do u attract followers who are actually interested in what you talk about..hmmm?
Thursday, February 17, 2011
Wednesday, February 16, 2011
Love and why im addicted to it .
This may be hard to believe but I do have a hard time explaining myself. Like, a lot of thoughts come to me at one time and I never give each idea its full explanation. Love is shown in many different ways and happen to many different people, ideas, or things. I love music, I love certain people, I love the idea of....i do not know...world peace.
Recently I just been feeling like a go getter about my life. I want money, i go get it. I want a friend, I go make one. I want someone to love me, I put myself out there and try to meet someone who would appreciate me for who I have been, who I am, and who I am trying to be. Life gets deep to me. I do not just dwell on a person because of materialistic values. NOW DO NOT GET ME WRONG, i do appreciate eye candy but its not at the top of my priority list!
I still am pretty down in the dumps about my health and how it's affecting my ability to feel confident and go out there and be the beautiful person I am but that is a project that still is being worked on; i have not totally given up like I feel like sometimes.
Sometimes it hurts me when I am OBVIOUSLY down and friends do not try and see what is wrong with me. A simple "What's wrong?" is not going to make me talk, plain and simple. With years of knowing me PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT. I am not a blabber mouth and for the most part im quiet, so how da hell you think that is gonna make me spill my emotions out to you? Be smart, por favor.
And all these thoughts do tie into what I am feeling. It's like a get a whirlwind of thoughts when I think about love. Love feeels sooo gooodd; and what it makes your body feel and it's capabilities is amazinggg. And I long for that bitch so much lol I never been so high on life when i'm in love. I don't get high; and getting drunk just makes you sloppy. I wanna feel like wonderwomann and like i'm in deep admiration of somebody.
When I'm with somebody I am totally devoted to that person and there needs and I want to feel that from them as well. I wanna be taken to a whole nother would where it is just me and him and where I can just be myself and feel bigger than life because I have felt like that before.
I want to find things about myself that I never knew before; I wanna do things and .....LOL how do I say this in a non-freakish way....have things done upon myself (lmao) that makes my spirit sing. I wanna be the ONLY one. I don't know, I think im deserving of this love.
The devil is always after though. I'm a good girl, I do not do his work. So he makes life hard on me and always discourages me but this is something I WANT BADLY NOW. I am 20 years old and has never kissed anyone....I find this to be a problem LOL.
As passionate as my ass is, i'm surprised I have not done things that I wont mention LOL. But my reasoning is because I'd rather wait for that one guy who is going to blow my mind and stop my world from spinning.
I've talked to gang members, rappers, dancers, and creative ass dudes, from all different races and they have brought so many different ideas and things into my life and no matter how bad they treated me, I still appreciate them for making me feel I guess what they would call love for that certain amount of time.
They taught me what I like, what I love, what I will and would not tolerate and so much more.
I dont know, music calls me now. Listening to love songs, wanting to be that girl in them; i get tired of trying though. I want someone to be attracted to me because of who I am and what I bring to the table. Not how good I look on any given day. just saying.
But im waiting....and getting very impatient :/
Recently I just been feeling like a go getter about my life. I want money, i go get it. I want a friend, I go make one. I want someone to love me, I put myself out there and try to meet someone who would appreciate me for who I have been, who I am, and who I am trying to be. Life gets deep to me. I do not just dwell on a person because of materialistic values. NOW DO NOT GET ME WRONG, i do appreciate eye candy but its not at the top of my priority list!
I still am pretty down in the dumps about my health and how it's affecting my ability to feel confident and go out there and be the beautiful person I am but that is a project that still is being worked on; i have not totally given up like I feel like sometimes.
Sometimes it hurts me when I am OBVIOUSLY down and friends do not try and see what is wrong with me. A simple "What's wrong?" is not going to make me talk, plain and simple. With years of knowing me PEOPLE SHOULD KNOW THAT. I am not a blabber mouth and for the most part im quiet, so how da hell you think that is gonna make me spill my emotions out to you? Be smart, por favor.
And all these thoughts do tie into what I am feeling. It's like a get a whirlwind of thoughts when I think about love. Love feeels sooo gooodd; and what it makes your body feel and it's capabilities is amazinggg. And I long for that bitch so much lol I never been so high on life when i'm in love. I don't get high; and getting drunk just makes you sloppy. I wanna feel like wonderwomann and like i'm in deep admiration of somebody.
When I'm with somebody I am totally devoted to that person and there needs and I want to feel that from them as well. I wanna be taken to a whole nother would where it is just me and him and where I can just be myself and feel bigger than life because I have felt like that before.
I want to find things about myself that I never knew before; I wanna do things and .....LOL how do I say this in a non-freakish way....have things done upon myself (lmao) that makes my spirit sing. I wanna be the ONLY one. I don't know, I think im deserving of this love.
The devil is always after though. I'm a good girl, I do not do his work. So he makes life hard on me and always discourages me but this is something I WANT BADLY NOW. I am 20 years old and has never kissed anyone....I find this to be a problem LOL.
As passionate as my ass is, i'm surprised I have not done things that I wont mention LOL. But my reasoning is because I'd rather wait for that one guy who is going to blow my mind and stop my world from spinning.
I've talked to gang members, rappers, dancers, and creative ass dudes, from all different races and they have brought so many different ideas and things into my life and no matter how bad they treated me, I still appreciate them for making me feel I guess what they would call love for that certain amount of time.
They taught me what I like, what I love, what I will and would not tolerate and so much more.
I dont know, music calls me now. Listening to love songs, wanting to be that girl in them; i get tired of trying though. I want someone to be attracted to me because of who I am and what I bring to the table. Not how good I look on any given day. just saying.
But im waiting....and getting very impatient :/
Monday, February 14, 2011
lfnekwnewngvwrvr FUCKKKKKKKKK!!!!!!!!
Im so tired, im done trying.
Why cant people just love me naturally.
I always have to try.
Try to let my guard down, try to let people see me.
Why cant you just love me...i dont wanna try no more.
All the mean people get love so easy, they step all over others to get what they want.
I just want someone to care about me, im so sad.
I been putting myself out there for so long and nothings happened.
i dont wanna do it no more, i just want someone to love my heart
nurse me back to health please...just pleasee..
:,(
Why cant people just love me naturally.
I always have to try.
Try to let my guard down, try to let people see me.
Why cant you just love me...i dont wanna try no more.
All the mean people get love so easy, they step all over others to get what they want.
I just want someone to care about me, im so sad.
I been putting myself out there for so long and nothings happened.
i dont wanna do it no more, i just want someone to love my heart
nurse me back to health please...just pleasee..
:,(
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