Why is it when we feel the most highest sometimes we feel the lowest? Is it maybe because we feel like this new found happiness is a figment of our imagination and that we are damned to be sad forever? That’s how I feel sometimes. There’s no reason for me to be completely surrounded by people that care about me laughing and then the next minute crying. I understand and I know I am probably one of the most emotionally deep people [persons] hell idk, on this earth and its hard to know me but I wish people would try. I am a damn good person. and it sucks because I feel like Im not gonna succeed in life being me. Nice people get fckn ate up in this world but I cant help if being nice is who I am, I cant stop being me. Yeah, I would defend myself and be angry and mean to someone if they was being rude to me or disrespectful but that’s all in the protection of me. Don’t disrespect me and I am nice all the time. SIGH. There is rarely a person like me in this world and it makes me sad bc I want someone to be nice to me like I am to people but I never can find it, I FEEL LIKE SUCH A PUNK FOR WRITING THIS BUT WHAT THE HELL. NO ONE EVER TALKS ABOUT FEELINGS ANYMORE IN PERSON ANYWAYS. smh. I don’t even know. like I was just CONTENT. now im like…buggin out. I have never felt so confident in myself yet so far from myself THAT DON’T MAKE NO SENSE. UGH. but it’s trueee.
I wish someone could help me make sense of myself. I don’t wanna sit here and mess up my life tryna do the right thing making all the wrong decisions. maybe this is me being ate up by the world or somethin idk. but I don’t wanna be. People should help out the nice people in the world and not use them because once u use up all the nice people all its gon be IS EVIL ASS MEAN PEOPLE. hmph. im done.
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