bummed. mad inside.

it freakin sucks to have no true friends.
I dont see how people that are okay with that vent out their frustrations
because im havin trouble with it man.
and i get so discouraged to meet new people because of this shit.
I dunno wat to do with myself....smh.
ima go read or somethin. later.

My favorite sonqs [NEO-SOUL, HiPHOP, RnB]

Songs that touch the heart & inspire ME.

Amazinq Grace - Destiny's Child
Dangerously In Love - Destiny's Child
Emotions - Destiny's Child
Brown Eyes - Destiny's Child
Girl - Destiny's Child
A Million Miles Away - Rihanna
Question Existing - Rihanna
Rehab - Rihanna
Hate that I Love you - Rihanna ft Ne-Yo [[MY RiNGTONE]]
Willing to Wait - Rihanna
A Woman's Worth - Alicia Keys
When You Really Love Someone - Alicia Keys
Diary - Alicia Keys ft Tony Toni Tone
No One - Alicia Keys
Slow Down - Alicia Keys
Anniversary - Tony Toni Tone
The One I Gave My Heart To - Aaliyah
At Your Best - Aaliyah
I Care For You - Aaliyah
I Wanna Be - Chris Brown
I May Never Find - Chris Brown
No More Complaining - Mila J
All Cried Out - Allure ft 112
Cupid - 112
Hey Love - Mobb Deep ft 112
All My Life - kc and jojo
Dedicate - Amanda Perez ft Layzie Bone
Fabulous - Jaheim
Anytime - Ray J
A Song For Mama - Boyz II Men
Down On Bended Knee - Boyz II Men
I'll Make Love To You - Boyz II Men
End Of The Road - Boyz II Men
Broken Hearted - Brandy ft Boyz II Men
HEY LOVER - LL COOL J FT BOYZ II MEN [[ i love this song ]]
The Color Of Love - Boyz II Men
Almost Doesnt Count - Brandy
Have You Ever - Brandy
I Wanna Be Down - Brandy
CrossRoads - Bone Thugs N Harmony
Love - Musiq Soulchild
Teachme - Musiq Soulchild
Don't Change - Musiq Soulchild
Butta Love - Next
Butterflies - Michael Jackson
Man In the Mirror - Michael Jackson
You Are Not Alone - Michael Jackson
Falling For You - Tamia
My First Love - Avant ft Tamia
Smile - Tamia
Stranger In My House - Tamia
Don't Take Your Love Away - Avant
Making Good Love - Avant
Wanna Be Close - Avant
Can't Help But Wait - Trey Songz
In the Middle - Trey Songz
Can You Believe - Robin Thicke
Lost Without You - Robin Thicke
Candy Rain - Soul For Real
Every Little Thing I Do - Soul For Real
Faded Pictures - Case & Joe
Happily Ever After - Case
I'm Missing you - Case
My Love - Joe
Chills - Fatty Koo
Closer - Goapele
Come Close To Me - Common ft Mary J Blige
The Light - Common
I Have A Dream - Common ft Will.I.Am
Crying Out For Me - Mario Barrett
How Do I Breathe - Mario Barrett
Let Me Love You - Mario Barrett
Take It Slow - Oryan
In the Dark - Omarion
Cursed - Vivian Green
Emotional Rollercoaster - Vivian Green
Gotta Go Gotta Leave - Vivian Green
Stay With Me - Danity Kane
One Woman Man - Dave Hollister
Wedding Song - Dave Hollister
Day Dreaming - Lupe Fiasco ft Jill Scott
Sunshine - Lupe Fiasco
Long Walk - Jill Scott
True Colors - Fredro Starr ft Jill Scott
Freedom - Ashanti
Don't Leave Me Alone - Ashanti ft Aurelius
Don't Leave Me Girl - Blackstreet
Dear Lie - Tlc
Diggin On You - Tlc
Red Light Special - Tlc
Do You Know That I Love You - Donell Jones
I Wanna Love You - Donell Jones
Where I Wanna Be - Donell Jones
Everything - Fefe Dobson
For You I Will - Monica
Why I Love You So Much - Monica
You Should Have Known Better - Monica
I Love You - Faith Evans [[ our sonq . . . ]]
Soon As I Get Home - Faith Evans
Never Gonna Let You Go - Faith Evans
Fallen - Mya
Tears On My Pillow - Mya
Fallin Out - Keyshia Cole
Heaven Sent - Keyshia Cole
Love - Keyshia Cole
We Could Be - Keyshia Cole
Far Away - Kindred : The Family Soul
Footprints On My Heart - Paula Deanda
For Real - Amel Larrieux
Fortunate - Maxwell
Lifetime - Maxwell
This Woman's Work - Maxwell
I Love You More Everyday - Ginuwine
Good Luck Charm - Jagged Edge
Promise - Jagged Edge
Walked Outta Heaven - Jagged Edge
Let's Get Married - Jagged Edge
Goodbye - Jagged Edge
I Can't Stop Loving You - Kem
Love Calls - Kem
I Don't Wanna Hurt You - Latif
Without You - Latif
Sweet Misery - Latif
I Need You Now - Smokie Norful
I Refuse - Urban Mystic
I See You In A Different Light - Chante Moore ft jojo
I Think I Love You - Dwele
Old Lovas - Dwele
If I Ever Fall In Love Again - Shai
If I Have My Way - Chrisette Michele
Imagination - Floetry
Incomplete - Sisqo
He Is The Truth - India Arie
I Am Not My Hair - India Arie
Purify Me - India Arie
A Love Of Your Own - J Holiday
Suffocate - J Holiday
Fatal - J Holiday
Hypothetically Of Course - Lyfe Jennings
Must Be Nice - Lyfe Jennings
Heaven - Jamie Foxx
They Don't Know - Jon B [[ will you marry me????? ]]
Tonight - Xscape
Who Can I Run To - Xscape
Take It From Here - Justin Timberlake
Until The End Of Time - Justin Timberlake
Twisted - Keith Sweat
Nobody - Keith Sweat
Make It Last Forever - Keith Sweat
He Reigns - Kirk Franklin
Looking for You - Kirk Franklin
Tonight I`m Yours - Lil ' Zane ft Tank
Please Don't Go - Tank
Listen - Beyonce
Listen To Your Heart - DHT
Love Will Be Right Here - SWV
Understanding - SWV
Rain - SWV
Love You I do - Jennifer Hudson
Maria Maria - Carlos Santana ft Wyclef Jean
Beautiful You Are - MH
Grass Is Greener - MH
Smile - MH
Mine Again - Mariah Carey
When You Believe - Marey Carey ft Whitney Houston
Two Wrongs - Wyclef Jean ft Claudette Ortiz
Moment In Time - Cherish
My Good Thang - Pretty Willie
Touching It - Pretty Willie
Aint Nothing Wrong - Houston
My Promise - Houston
One Mic - Nas
Never - Eve ft. Keyshia Cole
Never Let You Down - Baby Bash ft. Bone Thugs N Harmony
Never Took the Time - Akon
What's Left Of Me - Nick Lachey
Ocean - 3LW
Prototype - Andre 3000
Return of The Mack - Mark Morrison
The Crazy Things I do For Love - Sammie
Come With Me - Sammie
So Amazing - Luther Vandross
The Closer I Get To You - Luther V ft Beyonce
So High - John Legend
Ordinary People - John Legend
Falsetto - The Dream
The Rain Don't Last - Hope
These Are The Times - Dru Hill
Torn - LeToya Luckett
My Everything - Tynisha Keli
Can You Handle It - Usher
You Got It Bad - Usher
We Can't Be Friends - Deborah Cox ft RL
We Can Make It Through - Romeo
Whoaa - Mint Condition
Wife Her - Sekay
You - Jesse Powell


TOLD YALL I LOVE MUSIC :]

Quotes to go byyy :)

"All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher." - Ambrose Bierce

The best love is the kind that awakens the soul; that makes us reach for more, that plants the fire in our hearts and brings peace to our minds. That's what I hope to give you forever.

"Beliefs have the power to create and the power to destroy. Human beings have the awesome ability to take any experience of their lives and create a meaning that disempowers them or one that can literally save their lives." - Tony Robbins

Trust in what you love, continue to do it, and it will take you where you need to go. -- Natalie Goldberg

"The secret of success is learning how to use pain and pleasure instead of having pain and pleasure use you. If you do that, you're in control of your life. If you don't, life controls you." - Tony Robbins

"All charming people have something to conceal, usually their total dependence on the appreciation of others. " - Cyril Connolly

"It's not the events of our lives that shape us, but our beliefs as to what those events mean." -Tony Robbins

Love is patient; love is kind. Love does not envy; is not boastful; is not conceited; does not act improperly; is not selfish; is not provoked; does not keep a record of wrongs; finds no joy in unrighteousness, but rejoices in the truth; bears all things, believes all things. hopes all things, endures all things. Love never fails. 1 Corinthians 13

"Courage does not always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day that says I will try again tommorow."

Do not look at physical appearances, they can be deceiving. Dont look at riches, for they are only temporary. Look for someone who makes you smile, because sometimes it only takes a smile to brighten up a very dark day. Look for someone who makes your heart sing.

"Impossible is just a big word thrown around by small men who find it easier to live in the world they've been given than to explore the power they have to change it. Impossible is not a fact. It is an option. Impossible is not a declaration. It is a dare. Impossible is potential. Impossible is temporary."

Dream what you want to dream; Go where you want to go; Try to be who you really are; Because Life is short, and often only gives you one chance to do things.

"All the water in the ocean cannot sink a ship unless it gets inside. Neither can all the problems in the world break you down unless you let them get to you."

When a door closes, another one opens, but often we stand there so long looking at the closed door, that we do not see that one that has opened.

"I will not lose because even in defeat, there is a valuable lesson learned so it evens it up for me." -Sean Carter

"Be the change you wish to see in the world." - Gandhi

"What lies behind us and what lies before us are tiny matters compared to what lies within us."

"Dealing with backstabbers, there was one thing I learned. They're only powerful when you got your back turned." - Eminem

"Life is a form of art. As the years go by, you get to mold and create yourself. Make your life a masterpiece for all to see."

"Without emotion, man would be nothing
but a biological computer. Love, joy,
sorrow, fear, apprehension, anger,
satisfaction, and discontent provide
the meaning of human existence."
- Arnold M. Ludwig

"Love never dies a natural death. It dies because we don't know how to replenish its source. It dies of blindness and errors and betrayals. It dies of illness and wounds; it dies of weariness, of witherings, of tarnishings."

"It is better to die standing than to live on your knees" - Ernesto Guevara

"Within ourselves there is a deep place at whose edge we may sit and dream." - Lehrman

"Nothing splendid has ever been achieved except by those who dared believe that something inside of them was superior to circumstance." – Bruce Barton

"You can always trust a dishonest man to be dishonest. Honestly, it's the honest ones you want to watch out for." -Capt. Jack Sparrow [[ smh i love pirates ]]

"If you don't stand for something, you'll fall for anything." - Malcolm X

"Have the courage to live. Anyone can die."

"To let go isn't to forget, not to think about, or ignore. It doesn't leave feelings of anger, jealousy, or regret. Letting go isn't about winning or losing. It's not about pride and it's not about how you appear, and it's not obsessing or dwelling on the past. Letting go isn't blocking memories or thinking sad thoughts, and doesn't leave emptiness, hurt, or sadness. It's not about giving in or giving up. Letting go isn't about loss and it's not about defeat. To let go is to cherish the memories, but to overcome and move on. It is having an open mind and confidence in the future. Letting go is learning and experiencing and growing. To let go is to be thankful for the experiences that made you laugh, made you cry, and made you grow. It's about all that you have, all that you had, and all that you will soon gain. Letting go is having the courage to accept change, and the strength to keep moving. Letting go is growing up. It is realizing that the heart can sometimes be the most potent remedy. To let go is to open a door, and to clear a path and set yourself free."

It's all about the game, and how you play it. All about control, and if you can take it. All about your debt, and if you can pay it. It's all about pain, and who's gonna make it.
I am the game, you don't wanna play me. I am control, no way you can change me. I have heavy debts, no way you can pay me. I am the pain, and I know you can't take me.

"I came to steal your heart. Girl, don't call the police." -Trey Songz

"If I had a wish, i would turn back the hands of time, because you don't know what you got until it's gone." -Stevie Hoang

"It ain't about the size of your car, it's about the size of the faith in your heart." -India Arie

"People always on a search tryna find that one, but it's funny how they may not recognize it when it finally comes" -Musiq Soulchild.

"Love and happiness, it goes hand in hand.. you can't have one and not the other." -Latif

"Behind every great man you can find a woman, like a soldier holding him down." -Fabolous

"Treat you better than me cause that's the heavenly key to unlock the inner strength where my essence will be. It's the knowledge of self understanding of the things around me that become the wisdom that I need. " -Nujabes

"We bring ourselves down and build ourselves up in disappointment." -Gym Class Heroes

"I never thought that telling the truth would cause such a mess, and i never cared for someone so damn much that they cared to last." -Reynard Silva

Opportunists, those people that take advantage .

LEiLANi ;; BAY.BEE™: im nobodys convenience man idk how many times i gotta say that
LEiLANi ;; BAY.BEE™: and i kno theres ppl out there das ride or die foreal. and u aint finna b my friend only when shit is good
LEiLANi ;; BAY.BEE™: bc im goin sumwhere wit my life and im only takin ppl who deserve to b dea with me
nj_nice_guy_will: lol yea, I know a shit load of people like tha
nj_nice_guy_will: when i was jobless ..aint no one wanna kick it with me or anything ( i had money just not enough to go out everynight) so when i did stack up my paper a lil bit i get text like "yo will you up for NY tonight"? lmao
nj_nice_guy_will: like..df
nj_nice_guy_will: fuck you nigga
LEiLANi ;; BAY.BEE™: lolll
nj_nice_guy_will: so its w.e, hell I dont need a shitload of friend to have fun ya know?
nj_nice_guy_will: str8 crazy
nj_nice_guy_will: your always gonna come across people like that though
nj_nice_guy_will: oppurtunist
nj_nice_guy_will: thats wha the word is
nj_nice_guy_will: Lol
LEiLANi ;; BAY.BEE™: hmmm
LEiLANi ;; BAY.BEE™: i like tha

______________________________________

I absolutely have to talk about this. I could not say this like, two years ago but I have no problem now with having to do things on my own. I feel like if you wanna get things done the right way, YOU DO IT YOURSELF. Seriously. But ish get dull when you just chillin by yourself so you want someone to just chill and go out with ya know?

But what do you do when you live in the boondocks with people that aint got no kinda sense? I refuse to stoop lower than what I have became so if I gotta chill solo thats what Ima do, and be perrrooudddd of it!!

But I also dont wanna be scared to make friends with people i feel have the qualities I like. But you have to watch out for those people that are Opportunists. Taking advantage of your situation because they see you dont have nothing better to do. Even though they may be a nice person, you may have something that they can use. So they take advantage. It may not be intentional but they still do it, lets be real. When shit gets rough with you they may back up a bit because "they dont have time for the drama or stress". Also meaning, you aint that important to me and I dont wanna get close to you, so ima let you cool off and then we can talk. If you feel like people are showin genuine interest in you even though you may be down and out thats wassup. Thats what you needa be lookinq for!

I miss the typa friendship where you laugh so hard your tummy hurts and you cant stop crying and you feel like your gonna piss your pants. Where you can jes sit there and do nothing but still be totally entertained. Where you can go out and party and know your gonna have a good time and that someone has your back just in case something breaks out. Im a ride or die type of chic and I would do anything for someone who would do anything for me, now thats real.

Ima leave yall with this song:

You are not alone - Michael Jackson

Another day has gone, I'm still all alone
How could this be? You're not here with me
You never said good-bye, someone tell me why
Did you have to go, and leave my world so cold?

1-Everyday I sit and ask myself
How did love slip away?
Something whispers in my ear and says

2-That you are not alone
I am here with you
Though you're far away
I am here to stay

3-You are not alone
I am here with you
Though we're far apart
You're always in my heart
You are not alone

All alone, why, oh...

Just the other night, I thought I heard you cry
Asking me to come, and hold you in my arms
I can hear your prayers, your burdens I will bear
But first I need your hand, then forever can begin
(rpt 1, 2, 3)

Oh...whisper three words and I'll come runnin'
Fly...and girl you know that I'll be there
I'll be there
(rpt 2, 3, 2, 3)

Not alone
You are not alone, you are not alone...

You just reach for me baby
In the morning in the evening
You're not alone, not alone
You and me, not alone, oh, together, together...